Vietnamese Single Mother Grapples with Partner's Distance

In Vietnam, where the rise of single parenthood is becoming a social issue, a single mother is struggling with the level of distance in her relationship with a single father she is considering marrying. She divorced two years ago and now works at an office about 15 km away, living with her son (in the second grade) at her parents' home. Her son is reportedly an excellent student with a strong sense of independence. Her current partner is eight years her senior and has been raising his son (in the eighth grade) as a single father for many years. The two met through work and deepened their relationship through mutual empathy stemming from their past experiences. The man previously ran his own company but failed in business, had to sell his house to pay off debts, and now lives with his son in a small house. He is very busy with work and travels frequently. However, as their relationship progressed, the man began to keep his distance. When she expressed her desire to know their whereabouts, saying, "I want to know where you and your son live so I can cook for him and check on him when you're on a business trip," he repeatedly refused, stating, "My son is in his teenage years, and I don't want to disrupt his psychology." She, with her experience as a former tutor, believed she could get close to the child, but he did not agree. For the past half month, the man's contact has become sporadic. When she messages him, he replies, and when she calls, he answers, but mainly talks about work. He mentioned he has too many things to worry about: "aging parents, my son, finances, and responsibilities to my family." On one occasion, when she tried to bring food for his son while he was away on a business trip, he became angry, saying she was doing things her own way, but later apologized. She herself has saved 150 million VND (approximately $6,000 USD) after two years of divorce and is financially independent. However, she longs for a partner with whom she can share her life and raise their children together. Yet, the more she tries to approach him, the more she feels him stepping back. She is contemplating whether to continue actively pursuing this relationship. In Vietnamese society, alongside economic growth, changes in social structure such as rising divorce rates and an increase in single-parent families are observed. Particularly in urban areas, while more women are pursuing careers, values regarding marriage and child-rearing are also diversifying. In this context, voices seeking to explore individual happiness and the nature of family are expected to increase. Source: VnExpress