16 Years of 'Poor Pride': A Woman's Confession of Avoiding Class Reunions

A Vietnamese woman has revealed her inner thoughts on avoiding class reunions for 16 years due to a long-standing inferiority complex stemming from her impoverished childhood. The 35-year-old stated that whenever friends mention class reunions, she finds ways to decline, feeling she is always lagging behind others. The true reason, she admits, is a deep-seated shame about her background. During her school days, her family was very poor. Her father, seeing the large number of children, repeatedly urged her mother to let some of them drop out to help the family. Fortunately, her mother disagreed and strived to ensure they could all attend school. She had average academic performance, and poverty made her constantly feel inferior to her peers. While many friends commuted to school on motorcycles, she still rode an old bicycle her mother bought secondhand. She never dared to skip school, not out of a passion for learning, but fear of being forced by her father to work on the farm if she returned home early. After graduating from high school, her mother advised her to pursue teaching, citing the reason of 'saving on tuition fees.' She followed her mother's advice, graduated, and has been teaching for 13 years. Her life is generally stable, though her marriage did not turn out as hoped. Nevertheless, she believes everyone's life has its imperfections, liking the saying, 'The crescent moon waxes to full, and the full moon wanes.' Contentment, she feels, is happiness. Yet, after all these years, she still hasn't overcome the self-consciousness of that poor student from her youth. Every time she hears friends talk about class reunions, she finds an excuse to refuse. The image of herself at 17 – not a good student, simply dressed, with an old bicycle, always feeling behind everyone else – constantly reappears in her mind. She notes the irony that life doesn't always follow youthful imaginations. A friend who was a top student and received awards later became a teacher and now teaches at the same school as her. Meanwhile, she, who thought herself just an ordinary student, has achieved recognition as an excellent worker. Another exceptionally bright friend from a well-off family, pampered by her mother and siblings, was always an outstanding student. However, this friend became engrossed in online games in 11th grade, leading to a decline in her studies. Ultimately, she dropped out. She has since worked various jobs, learned knitting, worked at the post office, sold handmade goods, and married at 18. Today, she has a good husband and well-behaved children. Reflecting, she realizes that no one's life path is the same. A good student doesn't necessarily have the life others expect, and an ordinary student doesn't mean they will always be left behind. She graduated and was hired as a teacher without paying any 'job placement' fees. She believes her journey involved both effort and luck. She writes these lines to remind herself that the past should be put in its place. While we cannot choose where we are born, we can choose how we live in the present. And if anyone feels self-conscious about their starting point, she wants to say: try your best. Everyone's life is a long journey. The present may not be satisfactory, but perhaps good things still await ahead. Her confession highlights the complex psychological impact of socioeconomic disparities, even as Vietnam continues its rapid economic growth.